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The Show Must Go On? Low Mood Behind the Curtain

charlottesharpethe
2 days ago
6 min read

There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes with holding two identities at once, the one that's "on," present, holding a show together for a cast, a crew, an audience, and the one that's off-stage: at 3am with a teething baby, opening a group chat to see who else is dreading the next contract gap, or wondering how you're meant to be fully present for a toddler after a two show day.


This month, Applause for Parents took an honest look at low mood; what it is, why it shows up in parenthood, why the performing arts adds its own particular weight on top, and what actually helps. Here's what we covered, and the research behind it.


red empty theatre seats

What is low mood, and how do we know we're experiencing it?


One of the clearest early signs of low mood is often the quietest: no longer doing, or finding pleasure in, the things that used to matter to us. It can be triggered by any number of things, and is often maintained by interactions between our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and our behaviour, a pattern cognitive behavioural theory maps as a self-reinforcing loop (Beck, 1979), as the below diagram illustrates. 


CBT - hot cross bun model for low mood

As you can see, a difficult night's sleep, followed by a difficult morning, followed by a thought that slips in almost unnoticed: this will never get better. From there, it can gather momentum; sadness, frustration, heavy limbs, a lack of energy that a good night's sleep doesn't fix, and a pull toward staying in bed, withdrawing from friends, or losing an hour to your phone rather than reaching out to someone.


In the performing arts, when your sense of worth becomes tied up with being "on," low mood can feel less like a momentary dip and more like a threat to your professional identity itself, not just your parenting one.


What is the prevalence of low mood amongst parents/ carers in the industry?


  • In the UK, maternal suicide remains the leading cause of death for women between six weeks and a year after birth, accounting for 34% of maternal deaths between 2021-2023 (MBRRACE-UK, 2025). 

  • The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimates that between 56,000 and 85,000 mothers - 10 to 15% of those who gave birth in 2024 - may have experienced postnatal depression in the UK (RCPsych, 2025). Many more sit below that clinical threshold while still carrying real, daily low mood.

  • Around 5–10% of fathers experience depression, and 5–15% experience anxiety, during the perinatal period (Born and Bred in Yorkshire, (BaBY) 2017).

  • An Australian study found 1 in 4 fathers report poor or fair physical or mental health in the first year of fatherhood, with sleep deprivation (45%) and anxiety or fear of failure (33%) among the most common challenges and fathers under financial pressure were up to five times more likely to report poor mental health. The same study found 3 in 5 fathers were never asked about their mental health during their partner's pregnancy or in the first year after birth (Movember Institute of Men's Health, 2026).

  • 39% of new fathers say they want support for their mental health, yet support and screening remain far less established for fathers than mothers (Mental Health Foundation, 2021), with symptoms showing up differently in men and screening tools e.g. the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale being developed and validated on mothers (BaBY, 2017).

  • Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK (Office for National Statistics).

  • Research involving nearly 600 UK and Irish creatives across artforms (musicians, dancers and actors) found the likelihood of a mental health problem in the sector to be three times that of the general population, with anxiety (36%) and depression (32%) the most commonly diagnosed conditions (Shorter, O'Neill & McElherron, 2018).

  • Drawing on 111 academic studies, a subsequent meta-review commissioned by Equity found similar patterns, with a notable trend for increased mental health concern in the performing arts (Clements, 2022).


Why does it show up so readily in parenthood and in this industry specifically? 


Some of the drivers are universal to early parenthood: chronic sleep disruption, a loss of autonomy and pre-parenthood identity, reduced adult connection, an often invisible mental load, and the gap between the parenthood we expected and the one we're actually living. 


On top of that, industry-specific pressures such as financial insecurity come to collide with a whole new set of child-related costs and a potentially reduced capacity to take on extra work. Touring or being away from home brings its own specific strain on parenting via disrupted routines, missed milestones and re-entry to family life that can be tricky to navigate.


All of these factors running in the background in an industry with a "the show must go on" mentality can make admitting you're struggling feel like a professional liability rather than a normal human response. Even where performers feel able to acknowledge a mental health difficulty to themselves, 63% still remain concerned about disclosing it, citing workplace factors, personal factors, service provision and stigma as reasons for staying quiet (Shorter, O'Neill & McElherron, 2018).


When heaviness deepens: a gentler word on suicide awareness


Psychologist Thomas Joiner's interpersonal theory of suicide (2005) identifies two feelings that, together, are strongly linked to increased risk: feeling like a burden to the people around you, and feeling disconnected from them. A large-scale meta-analysis testing this theory across many studies (Chu et al., 2017) has found consistent support for the role these two feelings play in suicidal thoughts and behaviour.


This matters in an industry where isolation can already be built into the working pattern - touring alone, irregular hours away from a support network, contracts that end abruptly. If you ever notice these feelings in yourself, please treat them as a cue to speak to someone.


What actually helps


We can use the diagram above to help us think about how to disrupt the low mood maintenance cycle before it escalates.


  1. Noticing (mindfullness). Catching thoughts like “this will never get better” and noticing them as just that, thoughts.


  2. Connection. Reaching out, even when our instinct is to withdraw, can interrupt the isolation that deepens low mood. Research shows that feeling like a burden or disconnected from others can increase risk of suicide (Chu et al., 2017), highlighting exactly why connection is protective. 


  3. Self-compassion. Meeting your thoughts and/ or feelings with compassion rather than criticism consistently links higher self-compassion to lower levels of depression, anxiety and psychological distress (Neff, 2011; MacBeth & Gumley, 2012). Kristin Neff's three components offer a practical structure: self-kindness instead of self-judgement, common humanity instead of isolation ("this is hard for others in the industry too, not just me"), and mindfulness (as above) instead of getting swept up in the thought entirely (Neff, 2011). 


  4. Micro self-care. A short walk, a text to someone who gets it, a few minutes of breathing before a call time. Small, and realistic for an unpredictable schedule. This reflects a wider evidence base for behavioural activation - a well-established approach (Mazzucchelli, Jane & Rees, 2010), showing that small increases in activity can lift mood as effectively as much larger interventions, precisely because it interrupts the withdrawal side of the low mood loop before it deepens further.


  5. The ACE framework. One simple way to weave wellbeing into your week is to plan things that focus on: 

    Achievement

    Connection

    Enjoyment

    Noticing whether each day holds something achieved (however small), someone connected with, and something enjoyed gives the loop something to interrupt it. None of the three needs to be large or fixed, just a flexible framework to structure things around.


  6. Asking for help - from a partner, a friend, your GP, or your health visitor is one of the most robust protective factors the research identifies, in this industry as much as any other.


If low mood is persistent, affecting your day-to-day functioning, or you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out. You can contact Samaritans (116 123, free, 24/7), Shout (text 85258), your GP, your health visitor, or PANDAS.


You don't have to pretend you're coping, on stage or off it, you just have to keep reaching toward the people around you. And remember, feeling follows action. 


I use AI to help organise my thoughts and drafts — but the ideas, experiences and final words here are my own.


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