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Understanding Low Mood in Motherhood: What the Evidence Tells Us

charlottesharpethe
Sep 30
4 min read

This month, in recognition of Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, our Offload the Motherload session took an honest look at low mood in motherhood; what it is, why it shows up, and what actually helps. Here's what we covered, and the research behind it.


What is low mood, and how do we know we're experiencing it?


One of the clearest early signs of low mood is often the quietest: no longer doing, or finding pleasure in, the things that used to matter to us. It can be triggered by any number of things, and is often maintained by interactions between our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and our behaviour; a pattern cognitive behavioural theory maps as a self-reinforcing loop (Beck, 1979), as the below diagram illustrates. 


CBT hot cross bun model with low mood formulation

As you can see, a difficult night's sleep, followed by a difficult morning, followed by a thought that slips in almost unnoticed: this will never get better. From there, it can gather momentum; sadness, frustration, heavy limbs, a lack of energy that a good night's sleep doesn't fix, and a pull toward staying in bed, withdrawing from friends, or losing an hour to your phone rather than reaching out to someone.


What is the prevalence of low mood amongst mothers?


  • In the UK, maternal suicide remains the leading cause of death for women between six weeks and a year after birth, accounting for 34% of maternal deaths between 2021-2023 (MBRRACE-UK, 2025). 

  • The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimates that between 56,000 and 85,000 mothers - 10 to 15% of those who gave birth in 2024 - may have experienced postnatal depression in the UK (RCPsych, 2025). Many more sit below that clinical threshold while still carrying real, daily low mood.


Why does it show up so readily in motherhood?


Research into what's now widely termed matrescence; the psychological, relational, and neurobiological transition into motherhood, first named by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s and substantially developed by perinatal psychiatrist Dr Aurelie Athan (2024) helps explain why. Matrescence is increasingly understood across psychology, neuroscience and maternal health research as a developmental change comparable to adolescence: a reorganisation of identity, relationships, and even brain structure (Parimi, Marshall & Prata, 2025). 


All of that whilst also navigating: chronic sleep disruption, a loss of autonomy and pre-motherhood identity, reduced adult connection, an often invisible mental load, and the gap between the motherhood we expected and the one we're actually living. 


When heaviness deepens: a gentler word on suicide awareness


The interpersonal theory of suicide identifies two feelings that, together, are strongly linked to increased risk: feeling like a burden to the people around you, and feeling disconnected from them (Van Orden et al., 2010). A large-scale meta-analysis testing this theory across many studies (Chu et al., 2017) has found consistent support for the role these two feelings play in suicidal thoughts and behaviour. If you ever notice these feelings in yourself, please treat them as a cue to speak to someone.


What actually helps?


We can use the diagram above to help us think about how to disrupt the maintenance cycle. 


  1. Noticing (mindfullness). Catching thoughts like “this will never get better” and noticing them as just that, thoughts. 


  2. Connection. Reaching out, even when our instinct is to withdraw, can interrupt the isolation that deepens low mood. This theory on feeling like a burden or disconnected from others highlights exactly why connection is protective (Van Orden et al., 2010).


  3. Self-compassion. Meeting your thoughts and/ or feelings with compassion rather than criticism consistently links higher self-compassion to lower levels of depression, anxiety and psychological distress (MacBeth & Gumley, 2012). Kristin Neff's three components offer a practical structure: self-kindness instead of self-judgement, common humanity instead of isolation ("this is hard for other mums too, not just me"), and mindfulness (as above) instead of getting swept up in the thought entirely (Neff, 2011). 


  4. Micro self-care and behavioural activation. A short walk, a text to someone who gets it, a few minutes of breathing before pick up. Small, and realistic for a demanding schedule. This reflects a wider evidence base for behavioural activation - a well-established approach showing that small increases in activity can lift mood as effectively as much larger interventions (Mazzucchelli, Kane & Rees, 2010), precisely because it interrupts the withdrawal side of the low mood loop before it deepens further.


  5. The ACE framework. One simple way to weave wellbeing into your week is to plan things that focus on: 

    Achievement

    Connection

    Enjoyment

    Noticing whether each day holds something achieved (however small), someone connected with, and something enjoyed gives the loop something to interrupt it. None of the three needs to be large or fixed, just a flexible framework to structure things around.


  6. Asking for help - from a partner, a friend, your GP, or your health visitor is one of the most robust protective factors the research identifies. 


If low mood is persistent, affecting your day-to-day functioning, or you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out. You can contact Samaritans (116 123, free, 24/7), Shout (text 85258), your GP, your health visitor, or PANDAS.


You don't have to pretend you're coping, you just have to keep reaching toward the people around you. And remember, feeling follows action. 


I use AI to help organise my thoughts and drafts — but the ideas, experiences and final words here are my own.


Selected References & Resources


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